The Real Difference Between Love And Lust

The Real Difference between Love and Lust

Are you uncertain on matters of love and lust? You are not alone in this. Many sensible people like you, are also caught-up in the confusion. Here are some shocking details on the same….

Sexual attraction is known to often obliterate general human intuition and common sense even in the seemingly sensible and principled individuals. Lust is hell-bent on procreation. It is fueled by the primal desire to have sex. At least we can blame this on our brains for now.

Studies backed by MRI scans indicate that during lust-phase, the human brain is quite like that on drugs. The same area of the brain lights-up with a fix of cocaine as when one is in lust. Love on the other hand is the right opposite of lust. Even with all that in mind, clear-cut distinction between love and lust remains elusive to many. Partly because the two overlap at some instances.

In this article however, nothing is left to chance. We have shed light on this seemingly complicated topic.

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So, how exactly do you distinguish love from lust?

Lust and love can be very confusing to the unsuspecting eye. To begin with, lust is thought to be driven solely by physical attraction alongside fantasy. Love, in most instances, is also founded on these pillars. In essence, some love relationships are founded on lust. This however, does not mean that love and lust are one and the same. In fact, it implies the opposite. Let’s evaluate the two on a series of aspects.

  • Ownership and control

Love lacks in ownership and control. It however has plenty desire to see one grow to their full potential. This comes naturally with no worries about losing the one you love. It exudes desire to provide support and encouragement whenever appropriate.

Lust on the other hand is an insatiable obsession. It is more of redefining your partner’s life according to your own standards. Lust provides limited or no room for progress for either partner. One gets drenched so much with obsession to an extent it give way to deathly jealousy.

 

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  • Sex and conversations

If you’ve ever been in genuine love then you certainly appreciate the value of conversation. Meaningful conversation is the very fabric of lasting relationships. It often comes with a burning desire to share what’s on one’s mind time and again; in a constructive manner.

Lust is often skewed towards sex and many other aspects that lets one escape reality, call it debauchery. Once in lust, you desire less of constructive conversations and more of fantasy. Partners caught up in lust for one another are often engrossed in selfish desire for sex and unrealistic fun, as they call it.

  • Conditionality aspect

Genuine love should be unconditional. It is a natural feeling of desire to be with someone no matter their condition or circumstance.

Lust on the other hand is purely conditional; a feeling of steeped gratification of the flesh. With lust, cheating on a partner is nothing but a way to quench an urgent need while he or she is away!

Now everything is put to perspective. The thin line between love and lust is no longer an illusion as otherwise thought. One vital rule of thumb on these matters of the heart is to try and retain one’s presence of mind whenever feelings of attraction crop-up. This helps one steer clear of lust temptations.

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Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder is a very serious mental illness that is characterized by a lack of stability in moods, behaviours, and relationships. The name of this disorder was given because it was thought to “border” many different types of mental illness, which has now been found to be quite inaccurate. Though each case is different, there are commonly occurring symptoms that are used to diagnose. (Please keep in mind that a trained professional should be making a diagnosis, as they are equipped to do so.) These symptoms include:

  • Impulsive behaviours: These behaviours are often harmful to themselves and/or others. These behaviours may include promiscuity/unsafe sex, drug abuse, or self-harming behaviours (i.e. Cutting). Spending sprees and binge eating are also known to occur. It is important to note that not all of those who suffer from borderline personality disorder engage in all of these behaviours. It is also important to note that their self-harming behaviours are not usually intended to cause death, but are in an attempt to express their pain, have some control over their bodies, or to punish themselves for their choices/behaviours.
  • Low self-worth: Low self-worth can manifest itself in many different ways. They may speak very critically of themselves (i.e. They are ugly, or unintelligent, or worthless, etc.), or have distorted beliefs of what others think of them (i.e. No one likes them, no one loves them, no one likes spending time with them, etc.). Their low self-worth may also cause them to very rapidly change plans for their future, showing in an unexpected change in career, goals, and romantic partners.
  • Aggressive behaviours: Controlling anger is something that those suffering with borderline personality disorder struggle with. They will often times yell and scream when they are angry, and they may also lash out physically at those around them. Their anger can be incredibly frightening and dangerous.
  • Intense emotions and mood swings: The emotions and moods of a person struggling with borderline personality disorder fluctuate quite quickly and intensely. It is not uncommon for someone to be experiencing a very happy period to only hit a very intense angry and upset period a few hours later. The way that they treat those around them changes along with how they are feeling as well. They can be very loving and caring, switching very quickly to hateful and angry when they are feeling upset.
  • Intense fear of being abandoned: Those suffering from borderline personality disorder constantly worry about those around them leaving them completely. This intense fear manifests itself in “clingy” behaviours towards those around them (i.e. Repeatedly asking them not to leave, attempting to guilt trip people into being around, other manipulative behaviours) when their relationship feels threatened or close to breaking.
  • Tumultuous relationships: Relationships that a person with borderline personality disorder are involved in are incredibly chaotic. Relationships can go from being incredibly close and loving to incredibly distant and hateful in a very short amount of time. Romantic relationships can be especially so, and are often short lived as their partners have a hard time dealing with the mood swings and impulsive behaviours.

Borderline personality disorder is not a death sentence. If your loved one is struggling with borderline personality disorder, it is very important that you help to support them through treatment and encourage them to continue to work through it. Treatment for a personality disorder is often times a combination of therapy as well as medication, which can be very difficult for your loved one to handle, especially on their own. It is important that they stay hopeful and focused on the future. It is also a good idea to educate yourself on their illness. Know what the signs and symptoms are, especially when they are in crisis. Understand that you will need to recognize their signs and symptoms for crisis, not just the ones that are listed in a website or book. It is also essential that you yourself seek treatment. Their illness does affect you, whether you see it or not. Having your own safe place to discuss your feelings and emotions is the best way to be an effective part of their support system.