Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder is a very serious mental illness that is characterized by a lack of stability in moods, behaviours, and relationships. The name of this disorder was given because it was thought to “border” many different types of mental illness, which has now been found to be quite inaccurate. Though each case is different, there are commonly occurring symptoms that are used to diagnose. (Please keep in mind that a trained professional should be making a diagnosis, as they are equipped to do so.) These symptoms include:

  • Impulsive behaviours: These behaviours are often harmful to themselves and/or others. These behaviours may include promiscuity/unsafe sex, drug abuse, or self-harming behaviours (i.e. Cutting). Spending sprees and binge eating are also known to occur. It is important to note that not all of those who suffer from borderline personality disorder engage in all of these behaviours. It is also important to note that their self-harming behaviours are not usually intended to cause death, but are in an attempt to express their pain, have some control over their bodies, or to punish themselves for their choices/behaviours.
  • Low self-worth: Low self-worth can manifest itself in many different ways. They may speak very critically of themselves (i.e. They are ugly, or unintelligent, or worthless, etc.), or have distorted beliefs of what others think of them (i.e. No one likes them, no one loves them, no one likes spending time with them, etc.). Their low self-worth may also cause them to very rapidly change plans for their future, showing in an unexpected change in career, goals, and romantic partners.
  • Aggressive behaviours: Controlling anger is something that those suffering with borderline personality disorder struggle with. They will often times yell and scream when they are angry, and they may also lash out physically at those around them. Their anger can be incredibly frightening and dangerous.
  • Intense emotions and mood swings: The emotions and moods of a person struggling with borderline personality disorder fluctuate quite quickly and intensely. It is not uncommon for someone to be experiencing a very happy period to only hit a very intense angry and upset period a few hours later. The way that they treat those around them changes along with how they are feeling as well. They can be very loving and caring, switching very quickly to hateful and angry when they are feeling upset.
  • Intense fear of being abandoned: Those suffering from borderline personality disorder constantly worry about those around them leaving them completely. This intense fear manifests itself in “clingy” behaviours towards those around them (i.e. Repeatedly asking them not to leave, attempting to guilt trip people into being around, other manipulative behaviours) when their relationship feels threatened or close to breaking.
  • Tumultuous relationships: Relationships that a person with borderline personality disorder are involved in are incredibly chaotic. Relationships can go from being incredibly close and loving to incredibly distant and hateful in a very short amount of time. Romantic relationships can be especially so, and are often short lived as their partners have a hard time dealing with the mood swings and impulsive behaviours.

Borderline personality disorder is not a death sentence. If your loved one is struggling with borderline personality disorder, it is very important that you help to support them through treatment and encourage them to continue to work through it. Treatment for a personality disorder is often times a combination of therapy as well as medication, which can be very difficult for your loved one to handle, especially on their own. It is important that they stay hopeful and focused on the future. It is also a good idea to educate yourself on their illness. Know what the signs and symptoms are, especially when they are in crisis. Understand that you will need to recognize their signs and symptoms for crisis, not just the ones that are listed in a website or book. It is also essential that you yourself seek treatment. Their illness does affect you, whether you see it or not. Having your own safe place to discuss your feelings and emotions is the best way to be an effective part of their support system.

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The Power of Affirmations

beliefs-and-affirmations-IIIt can be quite difficult sometimes to think of something positive about ourselves. At times, we are our own harshest critics. It is easier to point out our own flaws, than recognize the positive things about ourselves. It is so important that we can find the positive things about ourselves, developing our self-love.

shutterstock_132820748Self-love is something that many people struggle with, finding it hard to love and accept themselves for who they are. This can be because of a lifetime of being told that they aren’t good enough, trying to live up to impossible standards, and feeling like they have let people down when they don’t. There can be a lot of shame and guilt associated with insignificant failures, and they can be carried for years beyond the memory of the failure itself. These situations can take a serious toll on your well-being, namely your self-esteem and confidence, components that are essential to self-love.

Affirmations are a great way to boost self-esteem, confidence, and help you regain a sense of self-love. They are simple, easy to remember sayings that are meant to promote positive self-talk and remind you of just how great you really are. Affirmations are an easy way to remind yourself each and every day that there are so many great things about you. Affirmations can also be used to learn acceptance and move past some of the mistakes we might have made. Below are just a few examples.

I am worthwhile and intelligent. My contributions matter.daily_affirmations_giveaway_02

I am beautiful/handsome.

I love myself.

I forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.

I trust myself.

I can see the wonderful things that others see in me.

Coming up with your own affirmations will help making them more specific to yourself. Think about what you struggle to believe about yourself, and turn it into an affirmation. There is no reason for you to feel any less amazing than you are, and by taking a moment each day to remind yourself, you are building a path to a happier and healthier you.

Affirmations help remind us just how unique, capable, and special each and every one of us is. They lead us towards developing a better sense of self-love, contributing to a higher self-esteem and confidence level. Affirmations are extremely powerful and can help you change your outlook on yourself as well as your life. Next time you are feeling sad, scared, alone, or insignificant, remember just how amazing you are.

Self Image

What does it mean to love yourself and approve of yourself unconditionally? Self image is something that is important to most of us. Presenting our ideal selves to the world is not always possible. But learning to love yourself the way that you are, and striving towards being the best you that you can be, makes what we want to see and what we do see one in the same.

So how can we learn to love ourselves? There are different ways that we can work on self image. Different strategies work for different people. The end game is always the same. We want to learn to accept the things that we can change and come to terms with the fact that there are just some things that we cannot change. Loving yourself is an important part of self image building. If we can accept our strengths and weaknesses with humility and understanding, we can love ourselves. Feeling satisfied and fulfilled with who we are and how we look can greatly boost our love for ourselves.shutterstock_100264808

Approving of ourselves unconditionally means that we know we are good, and look good, and feel good. It means we know we are making positive and right choices for ourselves, content that the only approval we are considering is the approval of ourselves. Having faith in your own choices and direction boost confidence, that in turn, boosts self-approval. With all of this positive self talk and confidence, self image will follow right along.

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Loving ourselves and approving of ourselves go hand in hand. These concepts are not only applicable to our outer selves but our inner selves as well. Being happy and feeling fulfilled within our chosen path can make us feel more comfortable and confident with our inner selves. knowing that we are loved and accepted by our peers plays an important role in our perceived self image and can boost your positive regard for yourself.

So why is a positive self image important? A negative self image can lead to a negative mood overall. This can lead to depression, self-injurious behaviours, and other significant and troubling diagnosis.These illnesses can cause long term and persistent symptoms that may interfere with everyday functioning. It is important to nip that negative self image in the bud. Work on loving yourself and the rest will come, with a bit of hard work and dedication.  shutterstock_111393362