What it means to be Authentic and Live an Authentic Life

choose-authenticity-in-a-marketing-agency.jpgLife is a journey of exploration and discovery with plenty obstacles to overcome, living one’s full potential in life remains quite elusive. Yet, this is only the first step toward living an authentic life.  Living an authentic life offers an opportunity to discover your goals and objectives. This often manifests by defining a path that is true to who you are and who you are about to become.

Many people who live an inauthentic life, live a life that is incompatible if not inconsistent with their values, abilities and desires. Because of this, they have strayed-off the path to discovering their true selves and real purpose in life. This is what it is like to live life inauthentic. It is a life simply hollow, incomplete and out-of-sync with oneself.

What does it mean to live an authentic life?

According to Brian Goldman, a renowned psychologist, authenticity is the unhindered operation of one’s true self in their daily enterprise. In his understanding, Goldman asserts that authenticity hold within it two very critical aspects:

  • Self-knowledge
  • Self-awareness

Essentially speaking, authentic people accept themselves for who they are. Like everyone else, such people have strengths and weaknesses. What makes them stand out is their ability to identify their strengths and at the same time seek to better their weaknesses. Being authentic is simply about connecting with one’s values, desires and abilities. Being authentic liberates one from the pressures of trying to be someone else; trying to be perfect.

Lame Deer is a Native American philosopher well-known for his work on human psychology. According to Deer, an authentic life is devoid of self-deprecation. He suggests that most people fall-short-of living authentically merely because they can’t stand their natural animal selves. Think of how people wear perfumes and deodorants to conceal their true smell. Or come to think of how people use cosmetic products and procedures to hide their true selves. Together with the various roles we undertake in the unending cycles of production and consumption as humans we remain detached from our true self and with nature itself. That is according to Lame Deer.

Authenticity in life is summarized by these two simple yet critical ingredients. In fact, self-knowledge and self-awareness defines who we are as humans. Understanding these two is just about all you need to live authentically.

Self-knowledge and self-awareness

At its very outset, authenticity begins when we commit our intentions to genuineness. A willingness to act genuine even when it feels most vulnerable. It comes with an ease of decision making in life; freedom to pick and choose on aspects that one relates very well with in as far as values and desires in life are concerned. This is in fact what it means to make unpopular decisions and choices in life. This is what it means to come to terms with some aspects that often people choose to hide away from, but which are integral parts of us. Self-knowledge and self-awareness are the building blocks of an authentic life. They make us live more honest if not engaged lives.

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Definitive characteristics of authentic persons

Living an authentic life never comes easy. In fact, research surveys suggest that most humans across civilizations live inauthentic lives. Of course there are more than enough reasons for the same. That aside, the following are some aspects that may help you single out individuals who are actually living authentic:

  • Resilience: living authentic life comes with an inherent ability to rise up to the challenge whenever one falls.
  • Purposefulness: being authentic implies having an intended purpose in life. In other words having set objectives in life.
  • Being goal-oriented: authentic people have some set goals to accomplish. They have targets in life and strive hard to realize them. In so doing, they remain steadfast and focused throughout their endeavors.

How to live authentic

Living authentic come with sacrifices as well as compromises. It calls for a complete overhaul of the past in favor of a fresh and new perspective to life. The following hints will get you started:

  • Open mindedness
  • Redefinition of values
  • trust your intuition

Open mindedness

Being open minded is the cornerstone of authenticity. Be open to ideas and be sure to experience a whole new perspective of everything this life has to offer. Authenticity never flourishes in closed and rigid minds. In fact, it fades into insignificance. Such minds never hatch brilliant ideas and such people are fated to remain average for life. Well, this is less about an opinion than a fact of life.

Redefinition of values

This is about getting clear on what you dare to care about. Holding tight on the very values we grew up with is common place in most societies. Some of these values and traditions may clash with what we in fact stand for as values. This puts authenticity in jeopardy. In brief, it is impossible to live authentically if one knows not the very values that they stand for and uphold.

Trust your intuition

Whenever one acts inauthentic, intuitively they feel out-of-sync with who they actually are and what values they stand for. Intuition is about those hunches, physical sensations and even the impressions that come alongside the actions we undertake in life. Intuition instinctively shocks us back to our senses whenever we act contrary to what we stand for in life. Intuition guards us from straying far of the true path of authenticity.

Discovering who we actually are is but a continuous process. It is more like a journey than a destination, where we keep unfolding bits and pieces of ourselves as we move along. It is the beginning of being authentic and living authentic.

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How does Marijuana affect your Relationship?

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How Marijuana Can Affect Relationships

The impact marijuana can have on relationships remains to be a very controversial topic. Some hold the view that the two can never go hand in hand. Instead, they mix as well as dynamite and match; very explosive with widespread and far-reaching effects. While others believe that marijuana has no negative effects on relationships. In their view, it spices things up. This article, though not intended to hit at any side in favor of another, has captured nothing but the truth on how marijuana affects relationships from both schools of thought.

Success in any relationship calls for love, trust and compromise. In addition, it also requires the couple to be free of substance abuse and addiction in all of its forms.  In this context we are discussing marijuana ABUSE. I invite you to be open minded in this topic and not stay in the category of black and white thinking. Not everyone who smokes pot will abuse it or become addicted to it.

Pot smoking, like any substance, may seem innocent, harmless and even fun for some at the very outset. Though the habit initially kicks off as a way of establishing identity or possibly freedom of expression, it can eventually lead users down the path to ruin and destruction in any love relationship. It can set one’s life in a downward spiral that ultimately robs them of everything they value as far as love and relationship are concerned. Unfortunately, marijuana has become widely accepted and debatably legalized in many modern societies.

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How does marijuana affect your love life?

Having counseled many couples on relationship matters over the years, I hold as true the opinion that the abuse of pot can actually minimize progress and growth in relationships. Marijuana abuse can directly impact:

  • Personal life and friendship
  • Intimacy and commitments
  • family life and responsibilities
  • emotions

Personal life and friendship

If pot smoking ultimately turns habitual and addictive, the victim ceases to be himself or herself. The drug moves in and completely takes over such an unsuspecting soul. In no time, such an individual becomes consumed by social anxiety and paranoia.

At this stage, the pot addict is more likely to be introverted and neglected, even by close friends and confidants. Of course being high kind of redefines their brand of friends; they associate more with a clique of other addicts trapped in the same habit of pot smoking. These are the kind of friends that only sink them deeper in their abyss of frustrations. Essentially, the addict loses touch with reality and reason.

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Intimacy and commitments

In love life, intimacy is very critical. In fact, according to some studies, it is the glue that holds the relationship together longer. By its very nature, intimacy is about partners being able to see into each other. Precisely, intimacy guarantees a clear perception of an individual’s feelings as well as their partner’s.

Marijuana in a relationship acts contrary to this feeling. Though critics suggest it heightens intimacy, this substance is in fact insidious and dangerous in your relationship. The “sacred herb,” as some erroneously call it, is a mood-killer when abused and only detaches you from your own as well as your partner’s feelings. Besides, weed shortens memory and makes honoring commitments in a relationship quite the nightmare.

Family life and responsibilities

Whenever a recreational drug like marijuana turns addictive, cravings for the same makes one forget everything else but the pot. Abdication of duties and responsibilities in the family typically sets in at this stage. Real addicts are never worried about the welfare of their children or spouse. Not in the slightest. They live in denial, isolation and over time becomes overtly defensive of their actions. It is no surprise that such individuals resort to verbal attacks if questioned about any of their unbecoming behaviors.

The drug-free partner in a relationship that is bedeviled by marijuana suffers more psychological traumas than the addict. Such partners may at times feel betrayed, tricked or even short changed in the relationship. This often develops into self-blame; taking unnecessary responsibility for the addicted partner’s way of life. This might then degenerate into jealousy, rage and self judgement, the real ingredients of depression.

Ironically, if asked if they still love their spouse in the relationship, the addict is often quick to respond in the affirmative. Their continued use of pot is evidence to the contrary though.

Marijuana and emotions

Emotionally, pot smokers are not themselves. Research findings indicate that as one uses drugs time and again, likely the case with marijuana addicts, their emotional tone plummets lower and lower. Unless they are high, such individuals know not much happiness and pleasures in life. Such a twisted perspective ends up draining life in any relationship. In some cases the couple may call it quits and part ways, just like that. In some rare cases though, the pot-free partner may have the nerve and patience to wait and just hope for the best – a day when the love of their life will finally stop the bad habit. Success rate for such cases is often very slim because the addiction often turns chronic over time. Most of the patient pot-free partners end-up depressed and frustrated without the intervention of specialists like psychotherapists and psychologists.

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How to recover from marijuana addiction

Clearly, marijuana and relationships are immiscible. The good news however is that marijuana addiction as a condition can be reversed. Various effective recovery programs are in place for the same. These programs remake the addict anew so that they once again come into the light. With well-thought-out alternatives, these programs helps clients regain a brighter outlook on life as a whole, integrity and self-respect. This way, they can once again love and be loved back.

To the drug free partner in the relationship, patience is of the essence. Give your partner time to shed off the bad habit. If the addict remains defiant and unappreciative of your patience then consider exploring other options like:

  • seeking help from a psychotherapist
  • divorce

The second option should come last; only upon exploring all available options and all concerted efforts rendered futile. Though this therapy is known to shock drug users into reality, it is likely to impact negatively on kids, if there are any. So, settle for divorce only if your partner’s marijuana addiction condition deteriorates and becomes so much over the top or is clearly on the brink of spinning out of control.

Communication Breakdown: Why do we listen to reply and not listen to understand?

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Why We Tend to Listen to Reply and not Listen to Understand

As a skill, listening is very critical in communication. It is the best way to pass across information and, more importantly, knowledge between individuals. Even so, studies suggest that over the years, our listening ability has only deteriorated. We no longer listen to understand. Instead, we listen to reply.

Studies show that we spend close to 60 per cent of everyday listening to others, but only retain a quarter of what we hear. Part of the reason for this could be that the world around us has become louder over time. A careful scrutiny and analysis of issues reveal the real suspects in play; a delicate combination of a pair of aspects within the human brain. These aspects include:

  • The lag time concept
  • The confirmation bias aspect

The lag time concept

Charles Gross, in his study at Princeton University in 2010, discovered what he called lag time in communication. It is the time duration between what you hear and what you understand. Now, according to Gross, lag time is in the range of a few seconds up to a minute. Of course this varies among individuals.

According to Charles Gross, lag time is the reason people listen more to reply than to understand. In fact, this is where real trouble begins. During lag time we shift attention to ourselves. We stop listening to the others. Instead, we listen to ourselves, a perfect recipe for communication breakdown. During the same phase, we tend to figure out a quick response rather than let the message sink in. The whole conversation then ends up into a fierce contest.

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What causes lag time in communication?

The exact cause of lag time is still unclear, though psychotherapists and psychologists believe human emotions holds a center stage and are very critical to it. Thoughts, beliefs, values, perceptions and opinions are also other very vital ingredients of an individual’s lag time.

The confirmation bias aspect

In the words of Grand Eklund, “You are only listening to what you want to hear.” I can’t agree with Eklund more. In all most every communication setting, people tend to pick out facts and other figures they deem fit; what affirms their pre-existing perspectives, values and beliefs. In so doing, they listen with more intent to reply than to understand – a real communication disaster. That is in fact how the confirmation bias concept operates.

Healthy conversation should involve listening to every detail of what is spoken. Confirmation bias however contradicts this. It makes it quite the challenge to listen and acquire knowledge.

How does confirmation bias come about?

Psychologists hint that confirmation bias has some level of connection and link with how slow individuals speaks in comparison to how fast they listen. Studies show that the human brain has the ability to process words at an optimum rate of between 600 and 1000 words per minute. When we speak, individuals communicate roughly 175 to 200 words a minute. Clearly, we aren’t utilizing our brain’s full capacity, especially when listening. Because of this underutilization of potential, the human brain tends to drift off into other aspects that would make up for that deficit; the onset of competitive listening.

Competitive listening is best explained using George Miller’s Law. In order to understand what someone else is saying, one has to first assume that the other person’s position is true and then try to find out what is actually true in it. A negation of Miller’s concept bears what is known as competitive listening; hearing something then reacting negatively to it, in part because of a belief that the other person’s position is false. In this spirit, listening grinds to a halt and communication breaks down.

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Way forward to effective listening

Many years of exploring listening as an art points me in a common direction; that effectiveness in listening can only be achieved through awareness and concentration. Yes, simply allowing yourself to listen better without coercion.

In order to “listen to understand and not just to reply”, we need to concentrate more voluntarily. This way, we acquire more knowledge and also make our conversations more effective.

Daddy Issues and their Impact on Relationships

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Wondering what this possibly means?  Well, read on for the actual truth and other shocking revelations on daddy issues and how it impacts relationships……

Daddy issues is a general term that describes a woman’s self-destructive behaviour often typified by a desperate ache for male attention. Now, that much suffices the definition of this whole aspect.

Women in this condition let themselves be misused by men. Unfortunately, some of us are or have been these kind of women. If not, then we probably know of friends who very well fit in the above descriptions. This problem is real and needs to be fixed sooner than later, lest it spill over into relationships and ruin everything.

May be you still don’t get the details of it. Or maybe this whole narrative on daddy issues doesn’t seem to hold much sense to you. Well, then these leading questions may just be all you need to drive the point home:

  • Do you find yourself attracted to older men, either married or unmarried?
  • In terms of emotional support, would you say your father was always there for you or you felt abandoned by him at some point in your tender ages?
  • Can you single-out instances of abuse by your father? It could be emotional, physical or even sexual.
  • Are you attracted to emotionally unavailable men and often wonder why?

If you said yes to any of the above, you are not alone. This article will help you identify unconscious patterns and conditioning with “daddy issues” thereby helping you create a happier and healthier relationship for you and your partner.

Let’s take a more in depth look at some of the concerns surrounding individual women caught-up in daddy issues.

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  1. Abandonment

Abandonment is very deep rooted with attachment and detachment issues. Your father is the first male figure in your life. If you were emotionally abandoned by your father or he was emotionally unavailable for you during your younger days, this may cause a deep need to feel loved and cherished in your adult life. You will continuously look for this in other men to substitute the love you did not get from your father. Unfortunately our relationships cannot provide that deep fatherly affection enough to fill this void. Until we are aware of this, we cannot work to understand ourselves better and give ourselves the love we need.

Older men, as I always refer to them because they are often older then the women they are dating, are in most cases more confident and financially stable. They always appear very much in control of the relationship since as always is the case, it is not their first rodeo at dating or romancing a woman. It is little wonder then that younger women fall for such men exhibiting high levels of confidence and poise.

Older men, or men in general, instinctively notice if their partner is troubled by daddy issues in the relationship. This often happen naturally. So the men do not put in much effort in noticing this helplessness. This power imbalance marked by the woman’s vulnerability often lets the man run the show. He can make her feel adored, protected and safe; all the things her father could not provide to satisfy her emotions.

A woman in this state of mind may crave all the love and affection she had been starved of as a little girl. Her new found love is all she might require to fill up that father-daughter relationship gap. This way she might feel her needs are being met and in some way his as well.

  1. Engaging in risky sexual behavior

This is one other significant and definitive feature for women with daddy issues. They crave lots of sex. In most relationships such women associate love and confidence to the number of times they are laid by the men they are supposedly in love with.

Recent studies and surveys have shown that in most women, having sex often tricks the subconscious mind into thinking they are loved and adored. This is terribly wrong and is but a false sense of security. It will only end up ruining your relationship in the longer term. True love exudes intimacy that is founded on companionship and mutual respect.

  1. Fear of being alone

Any lady who’s been through this murky side of relationships will certainly conquer that it is very scary to be single. She’d rather be in a dysfunctional relationship all her life than be alone.

Daddy issues can make one unstable in relationships. Such individuals rush into engagements without sparing time to check out for compatibility aspect in the whole deal. In so doing, they scare away the real men of their dreams. This way, they throw all their respect and dignity down the drain. Such women lack in everything that defines identity and healthy self-esteem.

  1. Nagging reassurance of affection and love

A sense of insecurity defines women with daddy issues. They are always comparing themselves to their supposedly “ideal women”. In doing this, they often worry on whether they are still their partner’s “one and only”. Well, this is often very exhausting to their partners. That very needy aspect exhibited in a woman often pushes men out of relationships. It’s is very counterproductive in the long run and only serves to confirm your greatest fear; you are not lovable.

How to go about resolving this nightmare

The first proactive step in tackling this problem is to understand and acknowledge that daddy issues are real. Denying this fact is ignorant and only sinks one deeper into the abyss of frustration in relationships. You certainly don’t want to continue down the path of rebound dating and relationships, do you?

In the event that this has been an ongoing problem, it is advisable that you seek advice from a qualified therapist or relationship counsellor. These experts have just about all it takes to provide you the right support, advice and encouragement on matters relationship whenever needed.

The bottom line

It is impossible to change your past, but you have a future. Keep your thoughts positive and pick on the right path for your future. This will guarantee you a relationship full of real romance and of course not much troubles related to daddy issues and guess what? You will also be able to attract the right men in your life, a real dream come true in your love life.

Why Keeping Score Doesn’t Work In Relationships

Keeping score is detrimental to relationships, and it will often end up killing them completely. But why do people keep score in the first place?

Well, it is often because it is a learned behaviour. Our parents are often our very first role models for relationships, and how they functioned together can say a lot about how our future relationships play out. If your parents kept score, chances are you will as well. Keeping score in your relationships will not only end in heartache, but it is a completely exhausting and unnecessary practice. It is also modeled in a lot of other dysfunctional relationships that we can find ourselves in (friendships, professional relationships, and other family relationships).

It is true that you should be getting back what you put into a relationship, but the meaning behind this is oftentimes misunderstood. This does not mean that you should be spending as much money as your partner, or doing nice things in equal amounts. It means that you and your partner should be doing things for each other and working towards the common goal of happiness and fulfillment in relationship (not working against each other). When things are truly even in a relationship, there is no need to keep score.

Here are some things to keep in mind, and to help you to break the habit of keeping score in your relationship:

Love is not a competition. Being in love with someone and having a relationship is not a “you vs. them” situation. Relationships are a partnership, and keeping score makes it a competition. It is important to recognize that you are not playing for opposing teams, but for the same team. Working together is how we overcome the challenges and struggles in a relationship.

Keeping score builds resentments. If one partner feels that they are putting far more into it then they are getting back out, resentment will start to build. Resentments can start out small, but they will morph into a general dislike towards your partner. Functioning in a relationship where love and mutual happiness is no longer the main goal is nearly impossible.

People need to give and take different amounts at different times during a relationship.Relationships cannot always be perfectly balanced. One partner may need a bit extra emotional support from their partner at one point, and these positions will switch back and forth throughout the course of the relationship. The important thing is that overall you will be getting back as much as you put in, it may just be at a different time or in a different situation.

Scoring is different for everyone. What you hold in high value, may be something totally different for your partner. You and your partner may value different things, making it impossible to keep an accurate “score”. This will just cause more problems than it solves and it is not something that can be changed, as values are a part of your core being.

The best thing that you can do for your relationship is to stop taking inventory of what you are doing for each other, and take a good hard look at what you and your partner want for each other. If the end goal is not mutual happiness and fulfillment, it is certainly time to re-evaluate just how invested the two of you are in the relationship. Don’t keep score, instead, live each day working towards a happy and healthy relationship.

The Power of Positivity

Positivity is something that does not always seem like a possibility in our day to day lives. However, positivity and an optimistic outlook can make a huge difference in how we carry ourselves and the directions that we choose to go in. Though at times it can be very difficult to maintain positivity, there are things that you can do to keep yourself upbeat and pushing forward.

Set attainable goals. We all have goals in life. They might be for your career, or perhaps for your personal life, or even in your relationships. It is important to make sure that these goals are realistic and attainable, while still challenging yourself. You can even break your larger goals down into smaller goals that will work towards the end point.

Let’s take an example that comes up often in recovery; maintaining sobriety. Maintaining sobriety is a very large goal, especially for someone who has just entered into recovery. However, this is completely attainable when broken down into smaller goals. Attending programs, continuing therapy, developing a relapse prevention plan, and having a stable support system are just a few of the many small goals that can be built up to the main goal of maintaining sobriety. As you can see, the main goal becomes much more realistic and manageable when broken down into smaller steps.

Reward yourself. It is important to celebrate the victories that you have. Rewarding yourself for your hard work and accomplishments, even the small ones, can do wonders for your positivity. The rewards don’t have to be large and extravagant things. It can be as simple as having a quiet evening off, or perhaps a sweet treat, whatever you would consider a reward after some hard work.

Going back to the example of maintaining sobriety, after spending time following through with your programs, continuing your therapy, and maintaining contact with your stable support system, how can you reward yourself? Perhaps a nice dinner with those who are closest to you, or a nice night in with a bath and a movie. You can choose the things that give you a sense of satisfaction that are not detrimental to your sobriety.

Have hope. Hope is a driving force in making positive change in our lives. Hope often keeps us going when we feel like we do not have much else going for us. It can build us up and help us to work harder towards what we want for ourselves, and it can keep us on track with our goals.

Maintaining your sobriety requires a certain amount of hope, more specifically hope for the future. It is quite easy to find yourself in a pit of despair when things doing seem to be progressing as you had thought that they would. It is times like this when hope is your greatest tool. Hope will help you push through. Hope will help you keep moving forward and give you a more positive outlook.

Have a positive support system. We can draw a great amount of strength from those that we surround ourselves with. A positive support system is so important in maintaining a positive outlook. When we have people supporting us through our hard times and encouraging our successes, we are much more likely to flourish and take on new challenges.

A support system is vital to a successful recovery. Without support, it can be very difficult for you to stay on track and keep your goals in mind. It is important that the people you surround yourself with during the recovery process are understanding of your needs and are capable of being supportive of your goals and choices. It is also important that you trust these people to not expose you to things that will trigger a relapse. Your support system may be made up of both professionals and friends/family members.

Positivity can be a life changing choice. By choosing positivity, you are taking control of your future and your direction in life. This is a key in the recovery process that should not be overlooked. By motivating yourself, transforming your mindset, and awakening your potential, you can be successful in your recovery.

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a mental illness that is characterized by a loss of touch with reality, trouble maintaining daily schedules/motivation/personal hygiene, as well as trouble understanding information they are given to make decisions with. Schizophrenia is a very serious illness that is still not completely understood. We still aren’t 100% certain what causes it, whether it is a combination of genes and environment, or possibly just a chemical imbalance. What we do know for sure is just how devastating it can be when left untreated. Joblessness, homelessness, and even addiction are common among those who have untreated schizophrenia. It is so important that it is caught early and managed as it does not take very long for someone to lose control.

Although each and every case is different, there are some symptoms that are common between cases. Common symptoms include:

  • Hallucinations: Hallucinations are anything that no one else can see, hear, smell, or touch that the person with schizophrenia is experiencing. These hallucinations vary from person to person, but the more common type of hallucination is voices. These voices will talk about the person, or warn them about danger, or tell them to do things to themselves/others (that are often times harmful). It can be quite some time before the hallucinations are noticed as the person having them will respond internally to them. Until they either talk about the hallucinations or outwardly respond to them, they are undetectable.
  • Delusions: Delusions are beliefs that are untrue about people/places/events. These delusions can vary greatly, but more common delusions are that someone is hurting them (i.e. through poisoning, controlling their mind/body, plotting against them in some way, etc.) or that they are someone they are not (i.e. someone famous/well-known).
  • Disorganized appearance: Those who are suffering from schizophrenia have a hard time taking care of themselves because they either forget or are focusing more on the things that are going on in their heads. They may have poor personal hygiene, live in less than healthy conditions, or they may even appear to be homeless. They can become very sickly looking if they are refusing to eat because they think they are being poisoned, and they can also look very tired/stressed if they are losing sleep due to their hallucinations/delusions.
  • Catatonic/Movement disorders: If a person is repeating movements and/or making unnecessary movements, they are dealing with a movement disorder. Someone with schizophrenia may also not move or respond to others around them (catatonic behaviour).
  • Unusual/Dysfunctional thoughts and disorganized speech/behaviour: The person cannot get their thoughts to make sense or get them organised before they start to speak. This may present as a very confusing loop of explanation of incomplete thoughts and ideas. They may also make up words/places/people in an attempt to make the connections fit in their heads. This can make it very difficult to tell reality from their hallucinations and delusions.
  • Emotional flatness/apathy: This is a particularly troubling symptom as it can present very much like depression. A flat affect (i.e. no change in expression or tone of voice) is also common with those who are struggling with schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is something that can be very difficult to treat. It largely depends on the severity of the case, as well as their support system. Schizophrenia is treated with a combination of medications and therapy, but the most important thing is that they are consistent with their medication and housing. This helps to keep them on track and in check with the symptoms. If your loved one is struggling with schizophrenia, the best thing you can do is be supportive of their recovery and their hard work. It is also important to remember that they will have good and bad days, but it is important to know the difference between a bad day and crisis. That is why it is also important to educate yourself about the illness and ask the questions that you need to. It is also important that you seek help of your own. Being the caregiver of someone who is chronically mentally ill can put a huge strain on your emotionally and mentally. Having a safe place (i.e. a support group or therapist) is great for keeping yourself in check and helping you be the best support that you can be for your loved one.