I Come First: Healthy Boundaries and Avoiding Burn Out

Expectations are a part of everyday life. We have expectations of others and them of us. There are times where there is so much pressure and so much to do, that it may feel like we are running in circles trying to get things done. The constant bombardment with new tasks and added responsibilities can weigh us down. If we are constantly putting ourselves behind others, we get burnt out. There is this constant drained feeling that just overtakes our emotions and our bodies.

shutterstock_62127079  So why do we feel the need to make everyone else happy? The biggest reason may be fear; fear of rejection, fear of being judged, and even fear of being alone. These fears can cause us to do crazy and unreasonable things for those around us, while we need to be thinking of ourselves as well. Finding a healthy balance in between what we need to do for others and what we need to do for ourselves can be a daily struggle. How can you find the balance between yourself and others?

Maintain healthy boundaries. Know when to say no and let others know what you are willing to do. There is no reason for you to be bending over backwards to make everyone happy all of the time. There should be boundaries for the amount of responsibility that other people can put onto you and you onto them. It is important to shutterstock_89030563know that saying no to things is okay.

Take time out for yourself daily. Turn off your phone, stay away from the computer, and just disconnect. Having time by yourself is one of the most important parts of the day. It is a time to reflect and heal and replenish your energy. It can be 15 minutes, or it can be 3 hours. But it is important to have that bit of time alone with yourself each and every day.

Ask for help. If you are feeling too overwhelmed, ask for help. If nothing else, talk to someone about how you are feeling and what you are taking on. Just getting it out can make a world of difference.

shutterstock_80333077Communicate your feelings to those around you. If you are feeling burnt out and under too much pressure, let those around you know. Communication is vital to every relationship and letting others know what you are feeling can open up doors to solutions you may not have thought possible. Just shutting yourself off from the world will not relieve any pressure, but it will create more problems for you in the long run.

There are times when we all feel overwhelmed and burnt out. However, it is how you handle these times that says the most about you. Take charge, find ways to feel empowered, and take care of yourself. At the end of the day, life is much too short to spend it being anything but happy.



Connecting the Mind, Body, and Soul: Meditation and Other Relaxation Techniques

Many times in life we experience times of high stress. It is often a combination of work, home, and personal turmoil that causes us to forget to take time out for ourselves. With busy schedules and not much personal time, it may be hard to relax and forget about stressful situations. There are many different techniques you can try to clear your mind and to truly relax.


Focusing on breathing is a great way to set your worries aside and distract your mind. By focusing on your deep inhale and refreshing exhale, you are allowing your mind to drift into a state in which you are only conscious of your breath. An example of this is:

Inhale deeply through your mouth. Count 1…2…3… Exhale completely through your nose. Focus solely on your breathing. Let all of your thoughts outside breathing drift away.

Another great technique is meditation. Focusing on breathing and clearing your mind are important parts of meditation. Eventually letting even the thoughts of breathing drift from your mind is the goal of meditation. It is used to create a sense of clarity and it takes great focus and practice.

Some find yoga to be relaxing. A combination of both exercise and focus, yoga stretches not only your body but your mind as well. The more advanced yoga positions can take years and much practice to get right to make them effective.shutterstock_60220876

Making time for yourself is essential. Not taking time out to do the things that you enjoy will leave you feeling burnt out. A great way to relax is having a hobby or something that you like to do by yourself. Painting, fixing/building things, or even going for walks are things that can be enjoyed and not too mentally taxing. The point of relaxing is to focus on yourself and recharging your batteries.shutterstock_6374107

Doing things for yourself is also essential. Maybe having a little extra splurge on an outfit, or buying that DVD you were really looking forward to can be a nice treat for yourself every once in a while.

We all have busy lives. The constant running around and changing schedule can wear deeply on a person. This wear comes in many forms; fatigue, depression, irritability, etc. Others will feed off of that energy and interact with you accordingly. Taking time out for yourself will not only improve your mood, but also improve the mood of people that surround you.