I Come First: Healthy Boundaries and Avoiding Burn Out

Expectations are a part of everyday life. We have expectations of others and them of us. There are times where there is so much pressure and so much to do, that it may feel like we are running in circles trying to get things done. The constant bombardment with new tasks and added responsibilities can weigh us down. If we are constantly putting ourselves behind others, we get burnt out. There is this constant drained feeling that just overtakes our emotions and our bodies.

shutterstock_62127079  So why do we feel the need to make everyone else happy? The biggest reason may be fear; fear of rejection, fear of being judged, and even fear of being alone. These fears can cause us to do crazy and unreasonable things for those around us, while we need to be thinking of ourselves as well. Finding a healthy balance in between what we need to do for others and what we need to do for ourselves can be a daily struggle. How can you find the balance between yourself and others?

Maintain healthy boundaries. Know when to say no and let others know what you are willing to do. There is no reason for you to be bending over backwards to make everyone happy all of the time. There should be boundaries for the amount of responsibility that other people can put onto you and you onto them. It is important to shutterstock_89030563know that saying no to things is okay.

Take time out for yourself daily. Turn off your phone, stay away from the computer, and just disconnect. Having time by yourself is one of the most important parts of the day. It is a time to reflect and heal and replenish your energy. It can be 15 minutes, or it can be 3 hours. But it is important to have that bit of time alone with yourself each and every day.

Ask for help. If you are feeling too overwhelmed, ask for help. If nothing else, talk to someone about how you are feeling and what you are taking on. Just getting it out can make a world of difference.

shutterstock_80333077Communicate your feelings to those around you. If you are feeling burnt out and under too much pressure, let those around you know. Communication is vital to every relationship and letting others know what you are feeling can open up doors to solutions you may not have thought possible. Just shutting yourself off from the world will not relieve any pressure, but it will create more problems for you in the long run.

There are times when we all feel overwhelmed and burnt out. However, it is how you handle these times that says the most about you. Take charge, find ways to feel empowered, and take care of yourself. At the end of the day, life is much too short to spend it being anything but happy.

 

 

Building a Successful Relationship

Human connection and acceptance are something that we all strive for. It is part of our nature to want to have a partner, to have someone that we connect with on a deeper level than just friendship. Relationships are an important part of our socialization as human beings. However, relationships that just don’t work and leave us with a bad taste in our mouth are an almost inevitable part of dating.Basic RGBGetting past the stage of just dating to being in a committed relationship is a large step for most people. After being burnt by others, it can often times be hard to accept and reciprocate the love for someone that you are close to. You may know that you love them but it may be hard for you to show the person that you love that you are in love with them. This can be a relationship killer.

Honesty, trust, and communication are the key pieces to a healthy and successful relationship. Without one, it is like a tricycle is missing a wheel; you won’t be going anywhere any time soon because your tricycle just doesn’t work. Building trust with the person that you are seeing is a great way to open up the lines of communication and having an honest relationship.

Trust is something that is hard to earn but very easily broken. Being completely honest with the person that you care about is a great way to earn trust. This does not mean that you need to tell them every detail of your thoughts, but you do need to be honest about who you are and what you are about.

When entering into a relationship, it is important at some point to make it clear what both parties expect from the relationship. This is so that there is no confusion around things like seeing others and cheating. Unclear boundaries can lead one or both of those involved to pushing the boundaries of the relationship to a point where there is resentment for committed indiscretions.

Cheating is seen as something that is nearly impossible for any couple to recover from. There are some relationships that do fully recover, but it takes a lot of time and hard work for healing and movement forward. Healing and taking the time to talk to your partner about what has happened is essential to pulling through cheating. However, cheating is often times just swept under the rug or pushed deep inside left to fester and grow. This is a breeding ground for resentment within a relationship.shutterstock_87748405Relationships aren’t easy. They take a lot of time, work and dedication. A happy and healthy relationship is something that is possible, but it requires the above mentioned. The important thing to remember is that loving yourself comes first in a relationship. Being happy and comfortable in your own skin will attract people that are like minded. Love yourself and the rest will follow.