How does Marijuana affect your Relationship?

How Marijuana Can Affect Relationships

The impact marijuana can have on relationships remains to be a very controversial topic. Some hold the view that the two can never go hand in hand. Instead, they mix as well as dynamite and match; very explosive with widespread and far-reaching effects. While others believe that marijuana has no negative effects on relationships. In their view, it spices things up. This article, though not intended to hit at any side in favor of another, has captured nothing but the truth on how marijuana affects relationships from both schools of thought.

Success in any relationship calls for love, trust and compromise. In addition, it also requires the couple to be free of substance abuse and addiction in all of its forms.  In this context we are discussing marijuana ABUSE. I invite you to be open minded in this topic and not stay in the category of black and white thinking. Not everyone who smokes pot will abuse it or become addicted to it.

Pot smoking, like any substance, may seem innocent, harmless and even fun for some at the very outset. Though the habit initially kicks off as a way of establishing identity or possibly freedom of expression, it can eventually lead users down the path to ruin and destruction in any love relationship. It can set one’s life in a downward spiral that ultimately robs them of everything they value as far as love and relationship are concerned. Unfortunately, marijuana has become widely accepted and debatably legalized in many modern societies.


How does marijuana affect your love life?

Having counseled many couples on relationship matters over the years, I hold as true the opinion that the abuse of pot can actually minimize progress and growth in relationships. Marijuana abuse can directly impact:

  • Personal life and friendship
  • Intimacy and commitments
  • family life and responsibilities
  • emotions

Personal life and friendship

If pot smoking ultimately turns habitual and addictive, the victim ceases to be himself or herself. The drug moves in and completely takes over such an unsuspecting soul. In no time, such an individual becomes consumed by social anxiety and paranoia.

At this stage, the pot addict is more likely to be introverted and neglected, even by close friends and confidants. Of course being high kind of redefines their brand of friends; they associate more with a clique of other addicts trapped in the same habit of pot smoking. These are the kind of friends that only sink them deeper in their abyss of frustrations. Essentially, the addict loses touch with reality and reason.


Intimacy and commitments

In love life, intimacy is very critical. In fact, according to some studies, it is the glue that holds the relationship together longer. By its very nature, intimacy is about partners being able to see into each other. Precisely, intimacy guarantees a clear perception of an individual’s feelings as well as their partner’s.

Marijuana in a relationship acts contrary to this feeling. Though critics suggest it heightens intimacy, this substance is in fact insidious and dangerous in your relationship. The “sacred herb,” as some erroneously call it, is a mood-killer when abused and only detaches you from your own as well as your partner’s feelings. Besides, weed shortens memory and makes honoring commitments in a relationship quite the nightmare.

Family life and responsibilities

Whenever a recreational drug like marijuana turns addictive, cravings for the same makes one forget everything else but the pot. Abdication of duties and responsibilities in the family typically sets in at this stage. Real addicts are never worried about the welfare of their children or spouse. Not in the slightest. They live in denial, isolation and over time becomes overtly defensive of their actions. It is no surprise that such individuals resort to verbal attacks if questioned about any of their unbecoming behaviors.

The drug-free partner in a relationship that is bedeviled by marijuana suffers more psychological traumas than the addict. Such partners may at times feel betrayed, tricked or even short changed in the relationship. This often develops into self-blame; taking unnecessary responsibility for the addicted partner’s way of life. This might then degenerate into jealousy, rage and self judgement, the real ingredients of depression.

Ironically, if asked if they still love their spouse in the relationship, the addict is often quick to respond in the affirmative. Their continued use of pot is evidence to the contrary though.

Marijuana and emotions

Emotionally, pot smokers are not themselves. Research findings indicate that as one uses drugs time and again, likely the case with marijuana addicts, their emotional tone plummets lower and lower. Unless they are high, such individuals know not much happiness and pleasures in life. Such a twisted perspective ends up draining life in any relationship. In some cases the couple may call it quits and part ways, just like that. In some rare cases though, the pot-free partner may have the nerve and patience to wait and just hope for the best – a day when the love of their life will finally stop the bad habit. Success rate for such cases is often very slim because the addiction often turns chronic over time. Most of the patient pot-free partners end-up depressed and frustrated without the intervention of specialists like psychotherapists and psychologists.


How to recover from marijuana addiction

Clearly, marijuana and relationships are immiscible. The good news however is that marijuana addiction as a condition can be reversed. Various effective recovery programs are in place for the same. These programs remake the addict anew so that they once again come into the light. With well-thought-out alternatives, these programs helps clients regain a brighter outlook on life as a whole, integrity and self-respect. This way, they can once again love and be loved back.

To the drug free partner in the relationship, patience is of the essence. Give your partner time to shed off the bad habit. If the addict remains defiant and unappreciative of your patience then consider exploring other options like:

  • seeking help from a psychotherapist
  • divorce

The second option should come last; only upon exploring all available options and all concerted efforts rendered futile. Though this therapy is known to shock drug users into reality, it is likely to impact negatively on kids, if there are any. So, settle for divorce only if your partner’s marijuana addiction condition deteriorates and becomes so much over the top or is clearly on the brink of spinning out of control.

17 thoughts on “How does Marijuana affect your Relationship?

  1. Excellent article. Helped to read what I clearly felt in a very passionate 10 month relationship. Knowing nothing about marijuana use I began to see mood changes, irritability, outbursts that were unjustified…..and I was beginning to feel anger. I kept saying “I don’t understand “. After our breakup…..I was blaming myself….now I realize…..I had nothing to do with it….my boyfriend is an addict. He smokes from the moment he wakes up til bed…and even in the middle of the night. I believe he tries to hide it from me some of the time. He denies that he has a problem and tells me and his family that I have an anger problem. I was starting to believe it until I got counseling. My heart hurts…because I love him and I miss him but, I cannot live with addiction.

    • Come on , its pot not heroin. I enjoyed the article, but you have “addiction” and a carving to get high on pot very mixed up. Heroin and crack is addictive, not marijuana.

      • You need to realize that marijuana is absolutely addictive. I’m living it and this article couldn’t be more correct.

      • you have clearly never lived with a weed addict. I used to be a user of heroin in ashamed to say but am now clean and have been for a long time. heroin is a physical and emotional addiction where as weed or whatever you want to call it is a mental addiction mostly, although if you have used It for a long time there will be physical symptoms eg can’t sleep, restlessness. my partner is constantly saying he is going to stop and he is vile if he hasn’t got it he becomes both physically and emotionally abusive to me so I have today ended our relationship. like the comment above it hurts a lot cos when he wasn’t using he was amazing. I have watched him loose everything and was determined to stay with him to support him but I cannot go on being his target when things go wrong seriously everything is my fault!!! sorry to rant but touched a nerve lol

      • To many people it is an addiction. Just because it may not be to you doesn’t mean others don’t suffer because of it and sadly it’s not usually the user who suffer.

  2. Yeah. Spot on. I reaquainted with a man on FB I knew from my teens. He is in his early 60s now. He visited me for a week, not using
    any while we were together. It was an a wonderful reunuon andawesome visit. He was attentive and focused on us. Now he has returned to Texas and making up for all the toking his missed outon. Now he does not return texts or have sense of urgency to talk as he did sober and clean. Pot is his lover
    again. He is an addict. He does not realize
    that is is short circuiting his once ability to give his full passion and feel the joy of a woman’s
    He will one day be alone and wonder why.

    • same my partner lives away from me in Essex (I’m in uk) and his last visit was good purely because he had weed everyday. now his home like you said he don’t reply to texts n completely ignores anything deep tbh all he talks about is online games!!

  3. I read this over and over when I really need to remind myself that the kids and I are worth more than pot, that it’s not our relationship, but a serious and all but hopeless situation. To remind myself it’s not me. To remind myself that my partner is simply in love with weed.
    Thank you.

    • Sorry to be blunt but you and your kids deserve better. I’m speaking from experience. I stayed “for the kids” and I realize now we could’ve been much happier had I left.

  4. I did not knoiw it was gonna spin out if control or t hat he would be SO ADDICTED TO IT AND IT WAS TO BE THEE MOST VALUE THING IN HIS LIFE & HE WOULD B LIVING 4 IT DAILY…. UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE and the years flew by ….It DEFINITEY hurt our children I wish I would have known he could not give it up after 50yrs tbe damage hssbeendone i feel like it was my fault i allowed it now he would rather give me up in our old age

  5. Thank you so much. I am the non smoker and I started tearing up when reading about being second place behind marijuana. It’s use blinds the user to reality and pushes down their emotions. The ups when getting high and the lows when coming down are barely bearable. I left the relationship when I saw the effects on our intimacy and how it could never be more. The inability of the love of my life to express herself was beyond frustration. Selfishness and irresponsibility and utter failure to communicate are just a way of life to the user. I just could not bear to watch her in her addiction any longer and all it’s consequences.

  6. Yes, I know I am second place to a “husband” who is addicted to marijuana, and he is. Sad for me that I have stayed for so long(waste of my life), and I feel so sad for him, knowing that I must leave. Just ghastly situation that, actually, nobody can understand unless they have experienced it. At the beginning, yes, I accepted the notion of not minding/being bothered about it – evidence of my “wonderful,generous” liberality ad tolerance. How naive I was. I need to get out of this relationship. It is an addiction, like alcoholism.

    • maybe you leaving will give him the kick up button he needs? I have split up from my long term partner today, he lives a few miles away so had to message but like it goes straight over his head but he will come dowe from his high see what he has lost and make a decision. I hope all goes well with you. don’t take no more shit u do not deserve it x

  7. Being in a relationship with a chronic user is awful. He is selfish, distant, ignorant, forgetful, neglectful, foolish, sarcastic, and hurtful. Do yourself a favor and don’t do it.

    • This article was very helpful. I hope that recreational marijuana use is NEVER legalized!!!! It definitely destroys relationships and lives!!!! I have been in a “relationship” with a chronic pot smoker and it has was hell!

      • I’m just going through it now and I’m heartbroken I’ve given ten years to a man that has made my life chaotic hurtful and constantly rejected. I’ll always love him but I couldn’t take anymore ….please if you don’t mind please exchange experiences it would help thankyou

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